The Super Freak-Out Meltdown

Today I had what I think would qualify as a first-time mom, super freak-out meltdown.

Each morning when Freyja wakes up for the day, I also wake up. I get up, put a long pillow between her and the side of the bed which isn’t against the wall so she doesn’t roll out while I’m gone, and go into the bathroom to prepare her morning milk. I can see her from the bathroom, so I watch her play and listen to her babble from the doorway. When I come back into the room, I hand her the cup, she starts drinking it, and while she gradually wakes up and drinks, I slowly let light into the room, ending with the window next to the bed. By this time she’s done drinking, and I take the cup out of her hand, replacing it with her pacifier, and then I change her diaper. We do the same thing each morning. It's our little routine, at least for now....

Well, this morning…I opened the curtains, and then I reached over to take the cup…and when I do, I look down to see the most enormous, liquid-filled blister on Freyja’s middle finger on her right hand that I have ever seen! I am not exaggerating. This thing was huge. It was easily the size of her thumb, and as long as the space between the base her finger and the second joint. Huge.

I immediately scooped her up, went downstairs, and grandma was on the phone to Freyja’s pediatrician in a nanosecond. It was literally minutes before we were all dressed and in the car, on the way to the doctor. Here I am, crying in the backseat, trying to figure out for the life of me what could have caused this insanely huge blister. She was completely normal when she went to bed! She hadn’t eaten or touched anything new the day or night before! She hadn’t touched anything hot which could have pinched, burned and/or blistered her. Even though she has been sick, she never had a fever. I just couldn’t figure it out. I just kept going through the day and hours before, thinking that something should be coming to me, but nothing made sense.

When we got to the doctor’s office, her pediatrician was clueless. He said he’d seen nothing like it. He called in one of his partners, an allergist who’d been a physician for 20 years. He said he’d also never seen anything like that on an infant. They both agreed it didn’t look like a burn or a contact allergy, and sent us to a dermatologist. While they were examining her, the blister finally broke from the immense amount of pressure, which of course made me freak. It looked so bad…

The dermatologist’s diagnosis? It was an insect bite. I said that this had been discussed at the pediatrician’s office, but that the area lacked puncture marks, which led them to believe that it couldn’t be an insect bite. The dermatologist said that certain mites and spiders leave what are called “blistering bites” which have no punctures. He said that a blister this large was unusual and probably just a one-time, strange reaction. He assured me that it would be fine, would heal normally, and probably never happen again.

Then it hit me. Yesterday we brought in some wood and used the fireplace because the furnace was on the fritz, and Freyja was playing in the same room. Is it possible that a bug was hanging out in a piece of the wood, and it somehow made its way over to her?

Regardless, I freaked, at least on the inside. Although I did cry, I somehow managed not to have a complete breakdown in front of her. She’s always been very aware of my emotions, and she can sense when I’m upset or nervous, which leads to her being upset or nervous, even if it's really no big deal to her. Since she seemed pretty calm and cool and in no pain over the whole thing, I wanted to try and keep her in a good mood.

I realize that this whole freaking out thing when your child is sick, in pain, sad, you name it...is normal. I mean, what kind of parent with any heart doesn't feel like that? For me, one of the worst experiences is taking Freyja to the health department for her vaccinations, because I know her little giggly demeanor and goofy smile will soon turn into crying, tears of pain, and a look of distrust, aimed at me, because I'm the horrible, mean mommy who took her there and let those awful people touch her. I can only imagine how I'll feel when she falls and skins her knees, has to have stitches, or has her heart broken by some evil boyfriend. But, somewhere along the line I'm going to have to perfect my talents at holding in some of my own emotions so I can help her to be brave and strong.

Still, I feel like I did okay, at least on the outside…which is what really matters...at least for now.

A Thousand Words

I love these images. To me, they represent so many different things.

For instance, they say something about the weather. We haven't had much of a Spring in the way of warm weather for outside play. Although the trees and flowers seem to be blooming, the air is quite cool and the sun only comes out here and there. There's also been a lot of rain. We haven't been spending a whole lot of time outdoors, and we've been doing a lot of looking out the window. Shouldn't we be laying on blankets at the park in sundresses, sipping lemonade? I think so.

The other thing I love about these images is that the cat is in them, in her ever-increasing capacity as Freyja's sidekick. I've never seen a cat be so loyal and patient. In the third photo, you can even see that Freyja is holding onto her tail...something that cats aren't usually too fond of...and she doesn't even seem to mind. It's pretty neat, really.

Another aspect I love? Freyja's hair. It's so wild and fuzzy. When I look back on her at this age, I won't ever forget that downy, soft, crazy hair. It's part of what makes her so cute and quirky.

And something else these photos capture...this window. It's the one next to the bed that Freyja and I sleep in, and the view we see from it each morning when we look out. It's also the window where sunlight comes in as she naps, and where the moonlight comes in while she dreams. As she gets older, she becomes more and more interested in what goes on outside of it. Freyja's little world just keeps getting larger, and this window has become a symbol of that. She looks so contemplative in the first picture. I wonder what she's thinking about?

The last photo also shows the dress Freyja's wearing from the front, which I made especially for her. I designed and made the dress with no pattern, with just an idea in my mind and the fabrics I had chosen to work with. I hand-stitched the flowered trim on, all the way around the bottom, and also embroidered around the front pocket to match. It's really special to me because it took a long time, was made with a lot of love, and was the first article of clothing I ever made for her.

Lastly, they show that Freyja is becoming more independent. She's been pretty serious about perfecting her standing, and she just keeps getting better and better at it. Before I know it, she'll be walking!

Where Have You Been?

I've been MIA on the blog front for a while now. What can I say? At first, things just became busy. I started listing a lot of Freyja's clothes and other items which she no longer fits in, uses, or that I'm not keeping for posterity on Ebay...which has taken up a lot of time...and is still pretty time consuming. We've also been sick for about the last week. When I say "we", I mean grandma, Adrienne, and Freyja...and when I say "sick", I mean with the most evil of all flu-like sicknesses with all of the colorful symptoms one can imagine. So, we've all been trying to get better, but it's been slow-going. Otherwise, there's one other thing which has been keeping me a little bit more busy than usual, but I'll go into that a bit more in a future blog posting.

Freyja's New Throne

As you can see, Freyja is totally amped about her new Euro II highchair. Grandma and I had to order it online, because this is a relatively small and not-so-progressive town, and therefore, no one sells anything which is not primarily made of plastic around here. Can you believe that it's so hard to find a wood highchair? You should check out the linked website and see how absolutely cool and versatile this chair is...

Photo Update

It's been suggested that I haven't been posting enough photos of Freyja lately, so today I put together a little collection of images I really like to show everyone what she's been up to!

I totally love this one.

There's something about a baby holding a baby that just cracks me up, and that expression is really funny...

After an afternoon nap...

She's so cheery!

Hanging out after a bath...

Checking out her reflection...

Getting her feet kissed, which she loves!

Relaxing on mommy's chest...

Looking silly on St. Patrick's Day!

She fell asleep later while the Irish musicians were playing!

I made that Shamrock pin.

The crocheted sweater and both blankets were mine when I was a little baby.

Maybe Grandpa Theo remembers them?

Playing with the wooden stacking toy, which is a big favorite!

You can see her two little lower teeth!

At the park with mommy!

That yellow crocheted bonnet was mine too! Chewing on Grandma's bracelets...

Super Yummy Pepperoni Bread and Alfredo Sauce

I thought I'd share a couple of new recipes I adapted from two I recently tried. I found them on one of my favorite sites, Recipezaar.

The first is for a bread machine Pepperoni and Cheese bread, which came out quite fabulous. Mom gave it the thumbs up and I felt it was good too. I'll definitely be making it again...

Ingredients:
1 cup + 2 tbsp warm water
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 tbsp sugar
1tsp salt
1/2 tsp garlic powder (though fresh garlic would be yummy)
1 tbsp dried oregano
1 tbsp dried basil
3 1/4 cups bread flour
1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
1 cup diced pepperoni

Directions:
In bread machine pan, place all ingredients, in order listed, except the pepperoni, which you should set aside. This recipe makes a 1 1/2 lb. loaf, so I selected the "Large Light" bread setting. Depending on your machine, choose something similar. Just before the final kneading, add the pepperoni. Do not use the delay timer for this recipe.

When finished, the loaf is soft and chewy on the inside, and crisp and crusty on the outside. Yum!

On the same evening, I wanted to make a pasta with some sort of cream sauce, but I had no heavy cream, so I hunted around for a recipe which would use something else I had in the kitchen instead. I ended up with a wonderful Garlic Alfredo Sauce recipe, using cream cheese as the base. I was a little unsure of how it would come out (cream cheese?), but it was delicious!

Ingredients:
1/2 cup butter
1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese
2 teaspoons garlic powder (decrease to 1 if you aren't a super garlic fan)
2 cups milk
6 oz. grated parmesan cheese
1/8 tsp ground black pepper

Directions:
Melt butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. If you're not using a non-stick pan you need to pay attention! Be continuously stirring and trying to prevent anything from sticking to the bottom of the pan. Add cream cheese and garlic powder, still stirring until smooth. Here is where things aren't so exact. Add milk, a little bit at a time, whisking to smooth out lumps. Stop adding milk when sauce is smooth. Stir in parmesan and pepper. Continue to add milk slowly if sauce is too thick, and remove from heat when sauce reaches desired consistency. Toss with hot pasta to serve. You can serve alone, or add cooked pork, chicken, or seafood to the sauce.

I used a handful of cooked seafood, and thought it tasted wonderful.

Sniffles and Sneezes

Shortly after the top tooth began it's eventual descent, Freyja's little innocent cold became one monster of a beast. Major conjestion, sniffling, sneezing, running nose, headache, coughing, and sleep troubles have been going on for the past three days. Two nights ago, she literally woke up crying every 30 minutes all night long. I'm guessing she was so congested that when she laid back...she just couldn't breathe and everything was draining down her throat. I eventually just had to prop her up slightly and spend the rest of the night with one eye open. So, I've been doing a lot of vapor baths, using the vaporizer, and using vapor rub on the back, chest, and neck to see if I can get her cleared out. The key word: vapor. Poor little thing! Also newly listed under "Things Freyja Hates" is the nasal aspirator. The hysterical crying and screaming which comes from this child when I even attempt to use it is beyond description. She is scared to death of that thing! So, it's pretty much not going to happen. Hopefully she gets better soon so she can go back to her usual giggling self.

Number Three

No, this is not Freyja. But it is a baby with a fever...which is what I've got. Her top right tooth has decided to come in, and although she only seemed mildly disgruntled by the first two lower teeth, this one so far has involved a lot more drama, and it hasn't even broken through the gumline yet. She's been hot, feverish, and weepy...and has needed lots of mommy hugs, snuggles, and loving.

I really do recommend Hyland's Homeopathic Teething Tablets. They seem to take away some of the pain, and set her at ease so she can play or sleep comfortably. FYI: Although most of my homeopathic knowledge comes from Grandma Szilvi (I KNOW you love being called that! Hee Hee!), the Internet, or my awesome homeopathy book, this was actually suggested by my friend Heather while I was still pregnant. Thanks, girl! And another thing...isn't it fabulous that you can buy some homeopathic remedies at Wal-mart? Who knew?

Things I Love: Swinging

I took Freyja down to the park (which is only a block away) this week to take a ride in the toddler swing. She loved it! As you can see, it's still quite cold here and more like winter than spring. But, Freyja has always been an outside sort of baby no matter what the weather, and she had a great time anyway. I can see that when the weather is nice, we'll be doing a lot of swinging...

So, this is Freyja, swinging and giggling, and being tickled by me...

And here is Freyja waving...a new skill that she's all too happy to demonstrate with people and all kinds of random objects. We're still working on the high five.

~

Things I Love: Riding in the Car

Guest Blogger: Freyja Autumn

This is a photo of me in my new car seat. I don't have to ride in that little one that faces the back of the car anymore. Now I get a really soft fancy seat for a big girl that faces forward like everyone else and I can see so many exciting things that I couldn't see before. I'm wearing my Fidel Castro hat in this picture. I don't know who that is, but every time my mommy puts this hat on me she says I look like him and laughs, so it must be good!

Note from Mommy:

I DO know how to use the carseat properly. I took this photo before I adjusted the shoulder harness, so stay calm!

Things I Love: Helping with the Laundry

Guest Blogger: Freyja Autumn

Oh yeah...and something I don't love: wearing socks!
Why do they keep putting those things on me?

Things I Love: Paper!

Guest Blogger: Freyja Autumn

This was a catalog. But, I decided that it was more fun to take all the pages out and throw them all over the room!

Paper is great stuff!

Stone Soup

I love this comic strip, Stone Soup. My friend Richard sends the clippings to me in the mail every once in a while because we don't get the newspaper very often, and he knows how funny I think it is...probably because I can relate to so many of the things the author jokes about...

I'm pretty sure that it's not quite legal for me to be posting scanned copies of a comic strip, but please don't report me to the authorities and I think I'll be just fine...

I hope you enjoy them as much a I do, and get a laugh or two in for the day!

Baking for Serenity

In the midst of the craft mania, I've been baking. Well, faux baking. So far, I've made a bread every four days. A banana bread, a nut medley bread, and a cranberry nut bread, to be exact. I love to bake. It makes me calm and relaxed, and it makes the house smell so good.

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After reading a post on Soule Mama (one of my favorite blogs) and specifically reading her post on WHO bread, I decided that I'd really like to have a bread machine. This is often how things happen in my life. I randomly decide that I want to do something or learn something or go somewhere and it suddenly becomes my new obsession, where I run around, hair on fire, trying to make it happen. It's pretty amusing really, because I can see myself doing it, and it's like the other side of my personality just kicks back and enjoys the show.

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If I've ever e-mailed you at 2am with some sort of weird question or idea, this is probably what's happening.

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So, because I have absolutely no money with which I could purchase a bread machine and since I'm an avid user of Freecycle, I decide to jaunt on over to my local Freecycle Yahoo! group and mention, ever so sweetly, that if anyone has a bread machine that they don't use, I would be happy to take it off their hands, because I would definitely use it.

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On a side note, I love Freecycle. There are all sorts of really nice people on there who give away things they no longer need or want to people who do need and/or want them. It's the whole, "One man's trash is the other man's treasure" bit. And, since people are giving things to others, rather than throwing them in the trash, it's even a good way to make yourself a small part of the green movement. So, there you go...

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Anyway, not even an hour after I posted the message on Freecycle I received an e-mail from a lady who had a bread machine that had been gifted to her, and which she'd never used. Fabulous! It's like it was fate! I picked it up from her a couple of days later, and I've been a bread making mad-woman since. Well, not really. I've made three breads, but still...that bread machine is getting a work-out!

Now, for all of you who are looking down your nose at me in sheer disguist that I would use a bread machine rather than an oven...fine, go ahead. Smirk away. But, let me say, for the record, that I would never stop making bread in the oven and strictly make bread by machine, because it's really just not the same. Bread from the oven is much higher in quality. There is, though, something to be said for the convenience of a bread machine and it's assistance in the kneeding and rising process, which makes things go so much faster, especially if you are super busy. Sometimes people even use the bread machine to kneed and rise, and then transfer the dough into a pan and pop it straight into the oven. So, even if you'd never stoop to making a whole loaf by machine, it's still a nice little gadget to own, if only for that little feature.

My favorite recipe so far, which I thought I'd share, is for a Cranberry Nut Bread. It can most certainly be made in a conventional oven if you're not keen on the bread machine idea! Just use your best judgement with the temperature. I think what makes this bread so delicious is the unexpected flavor of the grated orange peel. It's excellent...

Cranberry Nut Bread

4 oz. orange juice
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1 large egg

2 cups all purpose flour

3/4 cup sugar

1 tbsp grated orange peel

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 cup whole cranberries OR 1 cup dried cranberries

1/2 cup chopped walnuts

And...check out this little munchkin, who can't keep her mits out of the crumbs! She's such a cutie!

Happy Heart Day: Revisited

So, now that I'm sure the card has safely arrived in it's final European destination, I can show everyone else what Freyja and I made for Valentine's Day, without spoiling the suprise: handprints of mommy and baby, at 28 years and 8 months. I think they're the cutest thing ever.

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This little girl seemed to enjoy the box my Valentine's Day candy came in much more than I actually enjoyed the candy! She loves to gnaw on everything with those new little teeth!